KARL'S STORY: A RELATIONSHIP CHART
Excerpted from Caroline Myss: Sacred Contracts
I met Karl while I was sitting with friends around a hotel pool within sight of a lovely Caribbean beach. He and his buddy had just gotten off a boat and invited themselves to join us, and Karl immediately began acting the Fool. Within ten minutes of our meeting, for instance, he had rolled up one of his sleeves and was showing me a tattoo of his daughter’s name. “That’s the only true love of my life,” he said. Clearly, Karl was in some pain. Still only in his late forties, his body had aged prematurely from an addiction to drugs and alcohol, which he also revealed to us.
Karl’s personality was a fascinating mixture of bravado, self-pity, and roguish charm. Beneath his clowning, tough-guy demeanor, it wasn’t hard to see a man at odds with himself and painfully in need of guidance. With very little prodding on my part, he agreed to let me help him cast a working chart seeking insight into his failed marriage and how he could be a better father. He had never found a way to get grounded in his life. Although he seemed casual at first about his addiction to heroin, which had destroyed his marriage and come between him and his daughter, he was nonetheless tormented by his inability to kick his habit. Karl was at a crossroads between wanting t heal himself and not being able to imagine that his life could be any different. When he spoke about his twelve-year-old daughter, he would almost break down and would have to stare out at the ocean until he could gather his emotions again. Karl desperately wanted to be a good father and wanted his daughter to respect him. Unfortunately, he went about trying to buy her respect by getting her anything she wanted, rather than working on the more difficult emotional issues between them.
The working chart we cast refers only to guidance that Karl was seeking about his broken marriage and his relationship with his daughter. He made a point of sying that in doing this exercise, he was making choices, not promises. He continually had to remind himself that he could not lie to his daughter and then run and hide, the way he did with his wife. His intention was to build a healthy and loving relationship with his daughter and this guided him in drawing up a game plan.
FIRST HOUSE: Ego and Personality: HERMIT
Karl said that his wife, Karen, always saw him as a Hermit, but in the beginning of their relationship that didn’t bother her. This pattern became a serious concern for her, however, as his addictions became the focus of his life (he had the Addict archetype in his eighth house) and he withdrew from there more and more. “I didn’t want to see Karen,” he said. “She was always asking me if I was high, and I could never get away with lying to her. She could see it all over my face. All addicts lie—it goes with the habit. But you always think you can hide your addiction, that people can’t see though you. She’d get a kick out of seeing the Hermit in the house of my personality, because she knew I was in hiding due to my drug habit.”
It was the shadow Hermit that was ruling Karl’s personality—withdrawing from society not to gather his reserves of strength but merely to avoid facing reality. Another interpretation of the Hermit archetype in his first house was that these feelings of shame at having lost his self-respect were so intense that he could not face his wife. “That’s true,” he said immediately. “I don’t want my daughter to see me, either. I’m not proud of who I am today, believe me.”
Karl thought that changing himself was nearly impossible, but he was willing to try anything. We asked what the cold do that would help him become strong enough to face his daughter without feeling ashamed of himself. On reflection he said, “I would like to help my daughter realize the hell drugs lead to. I would like to be able to tell her the truth about myself so that she will never be tempted to us drugs. I’d like her to learn from my mistakes.”
As part of the healing process, he decided to carry a small version of his mantras—his healing plan—in his wallet and refer to it like a map to guide his spirit. To remind himself of his commitment to recover his self-esteem, he used a phrase hat his dad, whom he loved dearly, had used every morning when he would wake Karl up: “Look alive, Karl. It’s a new day”. So Karl chose the phase: “Look Alive” as his first-house mantra, because it reminded him of his father and awakened in him his desire to recover his self-esteem. That became the first step in Karl’s game plan.
SECOND HOUSE: Life Values: WANDERER
Karl said that he never could feel at home in one place. He longed to travel, but this became a problem as his marriage progressed. “Karen and I met when we were in our twenties. We were young and crazy, and we didn’t have a kid. We went everywhere together. Problem is, once our daughter, Zoe, was born, Karen gave up the wandering—but I didn’t. Between my drug problem and never being home, her life was miserable. I tried to settle down, but I would get to the point where I thought I was going mad. I guess I valued being away from home more than I did being with her.”
The phrase he chose to help him heal this part of his life was “Zoe love.” This represented that, no matter where he was, he was always sending his love to his daughter.
THIRD HOUSE: Self-Expression and Siblings: FOOL
The fool is an archetype that carries wisdom in disguise into places that would otherwise disdain such knowledge. Karl paused when he heard that, and then he said that feeling like a fool was familiar to him in his communication with his wife. “You know, I always had to cope with depression one way or another, and I wanted to talk about it to Karen,” he said. “But she disregarded it most of the time. She said I was always wrapped up in what bothered me and never had time to listen to her.”
Karl had a great deal of regret over the fact that he never acknowledged his pain because he never wanted to listen to his wife’s pain—or her criticism. “I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to hear it.”
Karl chose the mantra “listen” as his third-house guide.
FOURTH HOUSE: Home: SABOTEUR
“I think I started sabotaging my marriage the day after we got married,” Karl said. “It never occurred to me that anything in our lives would have to change, even if we had kids. Neither of us realized how important it would be for my wife to have a home.” Karl described a number of incidents that took place either in his physical home or that related to the symbolic meaning of home as his wife saw it. He was apparently incapable of providing the kind of stable family life his wife wanted, much less living, in his words, as “good neighbor Sam.” From a positive point of view, Karl acknowledged that “the Saboteur on his house cold have been my best white flag, had I know about this stuff earlier—though I am sure I wouldn’t have listened anyway.”
Not a day went by when Karl didn’t ling to wake up in his old bd. “How true it is,” he said, “that you don’t know what you’ve got till lose it.” And so Karl chose the mantra “Appreciate” for his fourth-house guide.
FIFTH HOUSE: Creativity/Good Fortune: STORYTELLER
Karl gave out a yell when his Storyteller arrived in his fifth house, saying, “I was kind of expecting that archetype to land in my marriage house, because I sure told my wife a lot of stories. But actually I’ve told a lot of stories to a lot of ladies, so this archetype fits here maybe even more than in my marriage house. I stepped out on my wife, and she knew it. I would get into an argument with Karen, and in my mind that gave me permission to bed down with another woman. Believe it or not, I love my wife, and I would give anything for another shot at having a life with her. I know she wouldn’t believe me if I told her I’d say clean [from drugs]. More stories, huh? I’d have to have a lot of good luck behind me with that project, I can tell you that much.”
Karl insisted that he would also like to create an open and honest relationship with his daughter, although he admitted that this would take work because of all the lies she had seen him tell her mother. He chose as his fifth-house mantra the single word “Honesty”.
SIXTH HOUSE: Occupation and Health: CHILD
Karl always struggled with being an adult, as is clear from his difficulties in settling down and being a responsible husband and father. The only occupations that he could handle were those from which he could come and go. A sailor and craftsman by trade, he was very good at woodwork, and he used this talent to keep up the repairs on the boats he was sailing. “I am someone who you hire for a day or two to fix this or that. This drove my wife nuts, and that bothered me because, as much trouble as I had staying put, I always provide materially for my family. We had a nice home even though I wasn’t there a lot. She worked too, and that helped keep the place running.” Karl was like a Peter Pan, never wanting to grow up. Yet he also had a Pirate archetype and spent much of his time at sea. Karl’s list of all that he had provided for his family, which to him, proved that he had held up his end of marriage partnership, referred only to material things. “You should see my home,” he said. “I bought a great entertainment unit, a pool table that double s as a Ping-Pong table. I got my daughter a great computer so that she could play all those computer games. Her friends were over all the time because there was so much stuff to do at our place.”
As kindly as I could, I pointed out to Karl that children need more than just toys or material gifts in order to grow and mature. In response, he said that his sixth-house mantra would be “Emotional support,” which represented his new commitment to give more of himself to his daughter.
SEVENTH HOUSE: Marriage and Relationships: PROSTITUTE
The first thought that occurred to Karl when he saw the Prostitute in his seventh house was that his wife always thought of him as a street person selling everything he could get his hands on to make more drug deals. From his wife’s point of view, Karl’s true partners in life we his drug suppliers. “When you’re an addict, you don’t care about anything other than getting your next fix.” He said. “So if your wife is in front of you, and the guy who’s got your next heroin shot in standing next to her, chances are you’re going to pick your supplier first. So what does that say about who you are really married to?”
Karl said that creating a seventh-house mantra was a no-brainer. “Loyalty is the one word that says it all. No matter what, my loyalty to my daughter comes first.”
EIGHTH HOUSE: Other People’s Resources: ADDICT
Karl said that having his Addict in the house of other people’s resources was perfect. “I mean, all an addict does is rely on other peoples’ resources—drugs, money anything that works.” Karl admitted that he would rifle through his wife’s purse for cash when he ran short. “I would take her resources, if you want me to put it in this language.” This behavior was just one more reason that his wife, after hanging in there with him for twenty-one years, demanded a divorce. “She gave it her best shot. I realize that now. I’m not sure I could have stayed with her that long if she was the addict who always strayed from home.” And then he paused, “Yeah, I’d stay with her.”
Karl realized that he had also drained his wife of all her inner resources during their marriage and that he did not want to do the same to his daughter. That desire inspired him to say that he wanted to create with his daughter a material and emotional investment rather than a withdrawal. His eighth-house mantra, then: “Invest not withdraw.”
NINTH HOUSE: Spirituality: FATHER
Karl’s Father archetype in his house of spirituality fit with his intention to discover how to be a better father to Zoe. He said, “My screwups in my marriage and as a father are the reason I started to pray.”
Karl chose “Faith” as his ninth-house mantra.
TENTH HOUSE: Highest Potential: RESCUER
Karl said that this was the most obvious match on the entire chart for him. “Rescuing myself from my addictions and getting past the need to run away from my past is going to take everything I’ve got. I haven’t been able to do that yet. If I thought I had half a chance of getting back with my wife, I’d sure give it a try. But that ain’t gonna happen, so what’s my motivation?”
His response came directly from the Child archetype in his house of health. Exhibiting a kind of perennial mother-child bond, Karl refused to heal himself unless someone more responsible, like his ex-wife, would help him out. Yet he knew that he had to rescue himself, and the only phrase that represented the seriousness of this dilemma was “Sink or swim”.
ELEVENTH HOUSE: Relationship to the World: PIRATE
Karl was a modern-day Pirate, with his long hair, tattoos, and manner of dress. He reminded me of Errol Flynn as the private Captain Blood, and it turned out, of course, that he was a great admirer of Errol Flynn and his pirate escapades. Karl loved the Pirate spirit and loved sailing the world. “I don’t sail like a tourist,” he said with pride. “I am a sailor. I’ve been in my share of barroom fights, and I’ve taken what’s not mine when I felt “inspired’ to. But Pirates don’t make good husbands. When I told my wife that I can’t change who I am, she decided that there was no sense waiting around. I moved out of the house about a week after that conversation.”
How did the Pirate affect his role as father? “Life is an adventure,” he said, choosing those four words as his eleventh-house mantra. “I went about enjoying it too carelessly, but its still and adventure, and I would like Zoe to believe that and experience that. I don’t want her to be afraid of life because of the way I live.”
TWELTH HOUSE: The Unconscious: VICTIM
At first Karl thought this archetype referred to his being victimized, which it could, but that interpretation did not resonate with him as much as his realization that he had victimized his own wife constantly. For all Karl’s obvious flaws, he wasn’t afraid to shoulder the blame for them. Because of him, she had lived in constant fear. There were times on drugs when his behavior verged on the psychotic, “I would have hallucinations [twelfth-house madness], and I would threaten her.” Eventually she couldn’t trust him at all, because she knew that he was cheating on her, stealing, using drugs, and disappearing for weeks at a time. “I drove her insane. I know it. She did feel like a victim of my disease. And I’m paying for it now. I am alone.”
Karl struggled with depression now because he saw only an empty life ahead of him. “Getting my daughter back means the world to me. I only hope I can actually change enough to make that happen.” For that reason he chose “Transformation” as his twelfth-house mantra.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Karl’s interaction with this tool is a classic example of a conflict in which the conscious mind reaches for guidance while the unconscious sabotages very effort to make changes. Karl’s Saboteur archetype in his fourth house is of particular significance, because it revealed the area he most wanted to repair while underlining the danger of self-sabotage that he faced in the very realm. His working chart revealed the paradox that held his spirit in polarity—his desire to heal and his Pirates’ fear of never being allowed the freedom of the water again.
From a symbolic perspective—the third column—through this exercise in self-examination Karl was able to step outside of his shadow and chart a new passage for his life. He was ready to reevaluate what mattered most to him and retrieve his spirit from the guilt and shame of disappointing people. If Karl could muster the fortitude to follow his new game plan, the chances were still good that he could salvage a decent relationship with his daughter. At the very least, this exercise allowed him to articulate his inner demons. Once these forces are brought out of the shadows and into the conscious mind, we have a chance to heal and resolve them.
Karl’s personality was a fascinating mixture of bravado, self-pity, and roguish charm. Beneath his clowning, tough-guy demeanor, it wasn’t hard to see a man at odds with himself and painfully in need of guidance. With very little prodding on my part, he agreed to let me help him cast a working chart seeking insight into his failed marriage and how he could be a better father. He had never found a way to get grounded in his life. Although he seemed casual at first about his addiction to heroin, which had destroyed his marriage and come between him and his daughter, he was nonetheless tormented by his inability to kick his habit. Karl was at a crossroads between wanting t heal himself and not being able to imagine that his life could be any different. When he spoke about his twelve-year-old daughter, he would almost break down and would have to stare out at the ocean until he could gather his emotions again. Karl desperately wanted to be a good father and wanted his daughter to respect him. Unfortunately, he went about trying to buy her respect by getting her anything she wanted, rather than working on the more difficult emotional issues between them.
The working chart we cast refers only to guidance that Karl was seeking about his broken marriage and his relationship with his daughter. He made a point of sying that in doing this exercise, he was making choices, not promises. He continually had to remind himself that he could not lie to his daughter and then run and hide, the way he did with his wife. His intention was to build a healthy and loving relationship with his daughter and this guided him in drawing up a game plan.
FIRST HOUSE: Ego and Personality: HERMIT
Karl said that his wife, Karen, always saw him as a Hermit, but in the beginning of their relationship that didn’t bother her. This pattern became a serious concern for her, however, as his addictions became the focus of his life (he had the Addict archetype in his eighth house) and he withdrew from there more and more. “I didn’t want to see Karen,” he said. “She was always asking me if I was high, and I could never get away with lying to her. She could see it all over my face. All addicts lie—it goes with the habit. But you always think you can hide your addiction, that people can’t see though you. She’d get a kick out of seeing the Hermit in the house of my personality, because she knew I was in hiding due to my drug habit.”
It was the shadow Hermit that was ruling Karl’s personality—withdrawing from society not to gather his reserves of strength but merely to avoid facing reality. Another interpretation of the Hermit archetype in his first house was that these feelings of shame at having lost his self-respect were so intense that he could not face his wife. “That’s true,” he said immediately. “I don’t want my daughter to see me, either. I’m not proud of who I am today, believe me.”
Karl thought that changing himself was nearly impossible, but he was willing to try anything. We asked what the cold do that would help him become strong enough to face his daughter without feeling ashamed of himself. On reflection he said, “I would like to help my daughter realize the hell drugs lead to. I would like to be able to tell her the truth about myself so that she will never be tempted to us drugs. I’d like her to learn from my mistakes.”
As part of the healing process, he decided to carry a small version of his mantras—his healing plan—in his wallet and refer to it like a map to guide his spirit. To remind himself of his commitment to recover his self-esteem, he used a phrase hat his dad, whom he loved dearly, had used every morning when he would wake Karl up: “Look alive, Karl. It’s a new day”. So Karl chose the phase: “Look Alive” as his first-house mantra, because it reminded him of his father and awakened in him his desire to recover his self-esteem. That became the first step in Karl’s game plan.
SECOND HOUSE: Life Values: WANDERER
Karl said that he never could feel at home in one place. He longed to travel, but this became a problem as his marriage progressed. “Karen and I met when we were in our twenties. We were young and crazy, and we didn’t have a kid. We went everywhere together. Problem is, once our daughter, Zoe, was born, Karen gave up the wandering—but I didn’t. Between my drug problem and never being home, her life was miserable. I tried to settle down, but I would get to the point where I thought I was going mad. I guess I valued being away from home more than I did being with her.”
The phrase he chose to help him heal this part of his life was “Zoe love.” This represented that, no matter where he was, he was always sending his love to his daughter.
THIRD HOUSE: Self-Expression and Siblings: FOOL
The fool is an archetype that carries wisdom in disguise into places that would otherwise disdain such knowledge. Karl paused when he heard that, and then he said that feeling like a fool was familiar to him in his communication with his wife. “You know, I always had to cope with depression one way or another, and I wanted to talk about it to Karen,” he said. “But she disregarded it most of the time. She said I was always wrapped up in what bothered me and never had time to listen to her.”
Karl had a great deal of regret over the fact that he never acknowledged his pain because he never wanted to listen to his wife’s pain—or her criticism. “I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to hear it.”
Karl chose the mantra “listen” as his third-house guide.
FOURTH HOUSE: Home: SABOTEUR
“I think I started sabotaging my marriage the day after we got married,” Karl said. “It never occurred to me that anything in our lives would have to change, even if we had kids. Neither of us realized how important it would be for my wife to have a home.” Karl described a number of incidents that took place either in his physical home or that related to the symbolic meaning of home as his wife saw it. He was apparently incapable of providing the kind of stable family life his wife wanted, much less living, in his words, as “good neighbor Sam.” From a positive point of view, Karl acknowledged that “the Saboteur on his house cold have been my best white flag, had I know about this stuff earlier—though I am sure I wouldn’t have listened anyway.”
Not a day went by when Karl didn’t ling to wake up in his old bd. “How true it is,” he said, “that you don’t know what you’ve got till lose it.” And so Karl chose the mantra “Appreciate” for his fourth-house guide.
FIFTH HOUSE: Creativity/Good Fortune: STORYTELLER
Karl gave out a yell when his Storyteller arrived in his fifth house, saying, “I was kind of expecting that archetype to land in my marriage house, because I sure told my wife a lot of stories. But actually I’ve told a lot of stories to a lot of ladies, so this archetype fits here maybe even more than in my marriage house. I stepped out on my wife, and she knew it. I would get into an argument with Karen, and in my mind that gave me permission to bed down with another woman. Believe it or not, I love my wife, and I would give anything for another shot at having a life with her. I know she wouldn’t believe me if I told her I’d say clean [from drugs]. More stories, huh? I’d have to have a lot of good luck behind me with that project, I can tell you that much.”
Karl insisted that he would also like to create an open and honest relationship with his daughter, although he admitted that this would take work because of all the lies she had seen him tell her mother. He chose as his fifth-house mantra the single word “Honesty”.
SIXTH HOUSE: Occupation and Health: CHILD
Karl always struggled with being an adult, as is clear from his difficulties in settling down and being a responsible husband and father. The only occupations that he could handle were those from which he could come and go. A sailor and craftsman by trade, he was very good at woodwork, and he used this talent to keep up the repairs on the boats he was sailing. “I am someone who you hire for a day or two to fix this or that. This drove my wife nuts, and that bothered me because, as much trouble as I had staying put, I always provide materially for my family. We had a nice home even though I wasn’t there a lot. She worked too, and that helped keep the place running.” Karl was like a Peter Pan, never wanting to grow up. Yet he also had a Pirate archetype and spent much of his time at sea. Karl’s list of all that he had provided for his family, which to him, proved that he had held up his end of marriage partnership, referred only to material things. “You should see my home,” he said. “I bought a great entertainment unit, a pool table that double s as a Ping-Pong table. I got my daughter a great computer so that she could play all those computer games. Her friends were over all the time because there was so much stuff to do at our place.”
As kindly as I could, I pointed out to Karl that children need more than just toys or material gifts in order to grow and mature. In response, he said that his sixth-house mantra would be “Emotional support,” which represented his new commitment to give more of himself to his daughter.
SEVENTH HOUSE: Marriage and Relationships: PROSTITUTE
The first thought that occurred to Karl when he saw the Prostitute in his seventh house was that his wife always thought of him as a street person selling everything he could get his hands on to make more drug deals. From his wife’s point of view, Karl’s true partners in life we his drug suppliers. “When you’re an addict, you don’t care about anything other than getting your next fix.” He said. “So if your wife is in front of you, and the guy who’s got your next heroin shot in standing next to her, chances are you’re going to pick your supplier first. So what does that say about who you are really married to?”
Karl said that creating a seventh-house mantra was a no-brainer. “Loyalty is the one word that says it all. No matter what, my loyalty to my daughter comes first.”
EIGHTH HOUSE: Other People’s Resources: ADDICT
Karl said that having his Addict in the house of other people’s resources was perfect. “I mean, all an addict does is rely on other peoples’ resources—drugs, money anything that works.” Karl admitted that he would rifle through his wife’s purse for cash when he ran short. “I would take her resources, if you want me to put it in this language.” This behavior was just one more reason that his wife, after hanging in there with him for twenty-one years, demanded a divorce. “She gave it her best shot. I realize that now. I’m not sure I could have stayed with her that long if she was the addict who always strayed from home.” And then he paused, “Yeah, I’d stay with her.”
Karl realized that he had also drained his wife of all her inner resources during their marriage and that he did not want to do the same to his daughter. That desire inspired him to say that he wanted to create with his daughter a material and emotional investment rather than a withdrawal. His eighth-house mantra, then: “Invest not withdraw.”
NINTH HOUSE: Spirituality: FATHER
Karl’s Father archetype in his house of spirituality fit with his intention to discover how to be a better father to Zoe. He said, “My screwups in my marriage and as a father are the reason I started to pray.”
Karl chose “Faith” as his ninth-house mantra.
TENTH HOUSE: Highest Potential: RESCUER
Karl said that this was the most obvious match on the entire chart for him. “Rescuing myself from my addictions and getting past the need to run away from my past is going to take everything I’ve got. I haven’t been able to do that yet. If I thought I had half a chance of getting back with my wife, I’d sure give it a try. But that ain’t gonna happen, so what’s my motivation?”
His response came directly from the Child archetype in his house of health. Exhibiting a kind of perennial mother-child bond, Karl refused to heal himself unless someone more responsible, like his ex-wife, would help him out. Yet he knew that he had to rescue himself, and the only phrase that represented the seriousness of this dilemma was “Sink or swim”.
ELEVENTH HOUSE: Relationship to the World: PIRATE
Karl was a modern-day Pirate, with his long hair, tattoos, and manner of dress. He reminded me of Errol Flynn as the private Captain Blood, and it turned out, of course, that he was a great admirer of Errol Flynn and his pirate escapades. Karl loved the Pirate spirit and loved sailing the world. “I don’t sail like a tourist,” he said with pride. “I am a sailor. I’ve been in my share of barroom fights, and I’ve taken what’s not mine when I felt “inspired’ to. But Pirates don’t make good husbands. When I told my wife that I can’t change who I am, she decided that there was no sense waiting around. I moved out of the house about a week after that conversation.”
How did the Pirate affect his role as father? “Life is an adventure,” he said, choosing those four words as his eleventh-house mantra. “I went about enjoying it too carelessly, but its still and adventure, and I would like Zoe to believe that and experience that. I don’t want her to be afraid of life because of the way I live.”
TWELTH HOUSE: The Unconscious: VICTIM
At first Karl thought this archetype referred to his being victimized, which it could, but that interpretation did not resonate with him as much as his realization that he had victimized his own wife constantly. For all Karl’s obvious flaws, he wasn’t afraid to shoulder the blame for them. Because of him, she had lived in constant fear. There were times on drugs when his behavior verged on the psychotic, “I would have hallucinations [twelfth-house madness], and I would threaten her.” Eventually she couldn’t trust him at all, because she knew that he was cheating on her, stealing, using drugs, and disappearing for weeks at a time. “I drove her insane. I know it. She did feel like a victim of my disease. And I’m paying for it now. I am alone.”
Karl struggled with depression now because he saw only an empty life ahead of him. “Getting my daughter back means the world to me. I only hope I can actually change enough to make that happen.” For that reason he chose “Transformation” as his twelfth-house mantra.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Karl’s interaction with this tool is a classic example of a conflict in which the conscious mind reaches for guidance while the unconscious sabotages very effort to make changes. Karl’s Saboteur archetype in his fourth house is of particular significance, because it revealed the area he most wanted to repair while underlining the danger of self-sabotage that he faced in the very realm. His working chart revealed the paradox that held his spirit in polarity—his desire to heal and his Pirates’ fear of never being allowed the freedom of the water again.
From a symbolic perspective—the third column—through this exercise in self-examination Karl was able to step outside of his shadow and chart a new passage for his life. He was ready to reevaluate what mattered most to him and retrieve his spirit from the guilt and shame of disappointing people. If Karl could muster the fortitude to follow his new game plan, the chances were still good that he could salvage a decent relationship with his daughter. At the very least, this exercise allowed him to articulate his inner demons. Once these forces are brought out of the shadows and into the conscious mind, we have a chance to heal and resolve them.